Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
