"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
