Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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