She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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