I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
