She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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