so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
