She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize