there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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