Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
