I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize