My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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