You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
