I didn't shave. On purpose
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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