Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
