I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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