Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
