don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize