Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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