Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business

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(443): View more from Maryland

when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i'm saving my butt for my wedding night

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(718): View more from New York

Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.

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(949): View more from California

if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.

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(519): View more from Ontario

all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"

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(347): View more from New York

And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right

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(402): View more from Nebraska

is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?

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