I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i think im in europe. pls send help
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
