A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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