At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
