did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
