was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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