Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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