I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
