i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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