I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
