I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
