I hate your face
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So. Much. Porn.
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