he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
