you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
