Whatcha textin bout Willis?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
