im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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