My nipple is on Facebook.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize
