i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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