Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
