I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
