she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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