Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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