There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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