does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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