Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
