Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
