Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
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