I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Be still, my beating vagina.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
