8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is Oprah even human
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
