pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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