now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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