She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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