just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
