This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
