we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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