The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
