So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
