youre lurking in front of me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
