Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
