I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
