Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
